The Bruce Willis/Meteor/Russia Connection
So, a meteor hit Russia today, which just happens to be the same day that Bruce Willis' new movie, "A Good Day to Die Hard", hits theaters. This entire turn of events seems incredibly fishy to me. Here's what I think really happened.
Bruce Willis' new movie, "A Good Day to Die Hard", is set in Russia. Because it's the fifth film in the "Die Hard" series, the movie company needed an interesting way to bring attention to their new, probably awful film. So, they looked back through Bruce's acting credits and were reminded that he once starred in the movie "Armageddon". "Armageddon" was about an asteroid screeching towards Earth and the hero was none other than...you guessed it...Bruce Willis. Are you following me?
So, the movie companies decided to hire special effects geniuses to create a meteor similar to that in the movie "Armageddon". Their target: Russia. The meteor hits and people start to joke around, saying things like "Where was Bruce Willis?" and "I bet Bruce Willis could've stopped this from happening".
Now, the movie execs will come out and say "Yes, Bruce could've stopped this meteor...if he wasn't busy promoting his new movie "A Good Day to Die Hard", which is in theaters now! Oh, and did we mention its set IN RUSSIA!" People will flock to the movie theaters to see Bruce Willis, a once mighty asteroid destroyer, now beating up dudes all over Mother Russia and the movie execs will laugh all the way to the bank.
Oh, and Aerosmith will probably have a new meteor-related song later this week. Just to put a nice little cap on things. Watch for it to hit iTunes.
Here's the trailer for "A Good Day to Die Hard", which is in theaters now. Yippie Kai Yay.